


Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan One Shot Collection

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Character Death, Domestic Fluff, Erwin is a sappy old man, Eventual Smut, Honeymoon, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Making out in a broom closet, Marriage, Multi, One Shot Collection, Past Abuse, Suicide, what even is this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-13 07:05:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4512501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of one-shots</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. can you save me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi x Erwin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a trigger warning for physical abuse, self-harm and suicide attempts/actual suicide. 
> 
> I'm posting from mobile so please disregard any spelling mistakes.

Rain streaked down the windows of the dim music room, the only room in the house Levi was proud to call his own. He sat on the bench for the piano, staring with empty eyes at the keys that used to bring him so much happiness. They seemed only to mock him now, reminding him of how he would never get better - never  _could_ get better. Grey light pooled over the expanse if the wooden floor, dancing along the keys. His throat swelled with words unsaid, promises he would never have the chance to keep. Tears welled up behind his eyes, his watery monochrome reflection causing him more pain than it should. His own appearance shouldn't hurt him so much. After all, he'd be stuck with it until the end. 

The end.  

Levi always thought, ever since he was little, that he'd die for something; a hero's death. That he'd, well...be remembered. But as he got older being remembered mattered less and less as the demons inside grew louder and stronger, convincing him of his worthlessness. 

But then there was Erwin, who completed him,  _believed_ in him. For a while Levi didn't get worse, and started recovering. But depression never fully goes away and while Erwin went away on a business trip, he fell apart again. He felt pitiful for not being able to hold himself together for three days without his partner. So he didn't call him. When Erwin got back, Levi was in the bathtub, half-drowned in his own misery. He got out as what most would be considered alive, but as his heart beat and lungs expanded, he was not living. Doctors and specialists found that all he needed was someone to talk to. So he was forced into therapy. But it didn't help. It made him feel pinned down and exposed. So he collapsed even further in on himself. 

It took almost six months for Erwin to trust him to stay safe on his own again; the first few times he left for a couple of hours to go grocery shopping or to pick up his Prozac, which he only took to make Erwin happy. It didn't work, so any chance he had, he'd avoid taking it. Today Erwin left him for the whole day to go to a meeting in another city.

 

Levi's eyes wandered helplessly to the object he'd had hidden inside his mattress. It was the only place no one bothered to check.

A razor glinted in the hazy grey light, almost beckoning him towards it. His fingers moved of their own accord, taking the metal between his thumb and forefinger, watching the light run down the blade in tiny, hypnotic bursts. He was entranced, grey eyes unable to move away from it. 

_His father grabbed on to his shoulders, slamming his tiny, childlike form into the brick siding on their family home._

_"You will never be good enough, Levi! You will never make your family proud! I am ashamed to be your father!" He repeated, his fists pounding into the weakened flesh of his abdomen._

He spent the rest of his miserable childhood trying tirelessly to make his parents feel proud. Not once did he get a pat on the back and a whispered "Good job, buddy!".

The blade seemed like it was trying to tell him that if only he used it properly, it could take away all of his haunting pain and memories. He grasped it tighter, a ragged sigh leaving his barely parted lips. He'd do it...once and for all he'd do it. He pressed the corner into the exposed flesh of his left wrist, digging it deep enough to sever the veins. Pain spiked and then ebbed away, relief taking its place. He repeated the action in the other hand, lowering the blade and releasing it, letting it clatter to the floor. 

His fingers traced over the ivories, blood running down his fingers, pooling around his weak fingertips. 

_Helpless. Unwanted. Wasted. Fat. Ugly. Unloved._

The last one hurt him the most, seeing Erwin warning away from him in his mind's eye. He could imagine his lips forming the destructive words, but couldn't, for the life of him, hear his voice saying them.

 

Erwin received a call a little after lunch from Hange, who was in hysterics. He'd sent her to go check on Levi because God knows how good of a day today was. 

"Er-Erwin he-he...he tried again-n and-d it seems like it's work-king-"

"Hange, slow down I can't understand you-" 

"Erwin he tried to kill himself again and he isn't waking up! The paramedics have him-"

That was enough for him to know he needed to go home. He didn't stay to tell his superiors, he left as fast as his car would take him.

He met Hange outside a little over half an hour later in the waiting room. She was curled in on herself, knees to her chest, her hand loosely gripping her glasses, forehead on her knees. 

"Hange..." he said softly, reaching out to gently touch her shoulder. She started at the touch, watery eyes squinting up at him. She sniffed and put her glasses back on. "How is he?"

"He...he's...they're taking him off life support..." she sputtered, bursting into tears once again. 

Erwin went completely numb, breath coming slowly and painfully. How could he have been so stupid as to let him stay alone, he should have taken him along. He was so, so stupid. 

"Hange I have to see him...where is his room, have they taken him yet?" 

Hange shook her head. "He's on the third floor...Room six-eighty-seven, I think."

 

Levi lay in a bed, surrounded by pillows and and wires, dwarfing him in the billowy softness. An oxygen mask covered most of his face, wrists bandaged in thick gauze. His eyes were sunken and pale and he looked, for the first time since he met him, at peace. 

He neared his bedside, slowly lifting the mask, leaning down to kiss him. 

"I wish you'd known how much I'd loved you..."

 

Levi passed during the night, the nurse who found him, swore he was crying. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry


	2. Family Gatherings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi x Erwin

It took an unreasonable amount of persuasion to get Levi in the car. At first, Erwin tried the blunt and straightforward approach, (including the "Levi just get in the damn car,") which didn't work. He claimed that he needed a shower, and took the opportunity to stay in for an hour. He ignored Erwin's attempts of telling him how he was running up the water bill. Levi just didn't care; he hated going home for any reason, including the teensy problem that was Thanksgiving dinner. 

"Levi," Erwin groaned, resting his forehead against the door. 

"I told you, I'm not going!" He said, panic underlying the seemingly angry tone. 

"Don't make me come in there," Erwin threatened, rolling up the sleeves to his white dress shirt, jamming his fingernail into the simple lock. He twisted and threw his weight into it, nearly collapsing onto the tile floor. He pulled the curtain to the side, grabbing his small partner and placing him on the bathmat. He wrapped a towel around his shoulders and didn't miss a beat when Levi tried his last means of escaping, dead-weighting. He went limp and did everything in his power to resist movement, but Erwin was much bigger and had the muscle-to-body-weight ratio to use to his advantage. Levi yelped with surprise when Erwin picked him up, throwing him over his shoulder. He dropped him onto their shared bed, sending him a warning look, telling him to stay. 

"I'm not a dog," he growled, folding his arms tightly over his chest and grimacing. Erwin found some dress pants and a light lavender button-up laying them neatly next to Levi, telling him that if he wasn't dressed in about ten minutes, he was going to come back and dress him himself. 

It wasn't a new fact that Levi hated going home. He never talked about his family, just saying that he was an outcast and never fit in with them. 

A few minutes later, Levi emerged, dressed with a scowl to complete the over all look. 

"Hello, handsome," Erwin said, using one of the sappy nicknames Levi said he hated, but never protested the continued usage. He kissed his temple, earning a weak shove to the chest. 

"Let's just get this over with." He grumbled, crossing the hallway to the coat rack by the door, pulling on one of Erwin's fraying sweaters that were far too big for him. But he said nothing, just smiling and taking the black coat he favored.

The car ride was long and silent, Levi glaring through the windshield, arms folded tightly, hands gripping his forearms until his knuckles turned white. Erwin knew better than to try to comfort him while he was fuming. He also knew better than to ask for directions, because he'd probably lead them to a strange place far from where they needed to go and refuse to take them home. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea, but Erwin had this weird sense of guilt about being engaged and them having no idea who he was. He at least wanted Levi's family to know a  _little_ about him before Levi ran off to marry him. Any way, they were in a swanky upstate New York neighborhood with houses that were no less than two stories high. Levi sensed his awe at the change in pace from his childhood home to where his mother lived now.

"She married a doctor," he mumbled. "I've never met him before." 

He parked the car in front of an ivory home with pillars supporting a lavish second-floor window you could see right into. There was a staircase with a chandelier dangling above an unseen landing. 

"This is nice," he said. "We can leave our coats in here-"

"No." Levi gripped the sleeves he had worked over his hands tightly, panic and desperation in his grey eyes. "It makes me feel better," he mumbles, burying himself further into the material. "It smells like you," he whispered. Like the gentleman he is, Erwin went around to the other side, holding the the door open for him.

"I'll be right here the whole time. I won't leave you alone." 

 

Dinner started and Levi was more than uncomfortable; here he was with his fiance, his mother, two small children and a man he'd never laid eyes on before, having dinner for Thanksgiving. He had to get Erwin back for this; something that was equally as embarrassing and painful to endure... Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. His fingers wandered over to Erwin's thigh, slowly making his way up. He heard Erwin's breath hitch in his throat. He coughed to cover his laugh, shoving a piece of bread in his mouth to stifle the laughter. Erwin seemed to think that was the end of it and continued to converse with his mother about their meeting. He slowly, moved his hand up further, dangerously close to his crotch. His breath hitched again, cheeks growing a rosy pink. He massaged his fingertips into the sensitive skin, keeping his eyes locked on a stray green pea by his fork. Erwin choked on a groan, earning a confused look from the children who were gossiping among themselves. His mother shifted her attention to her son. 

"Levi, you've been awfully quiet," she said, taking a sip of her white wine (Levi preferred the darkest of reds so he had a glass of ice water). 

"I've just been...distracted," he said pointedly, glancing at Erwin who had a death grip on a spoon, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth. 

"This is the happiest I've seen you in a while," she said cheerfully. "I'm guessing Erwin is the reason?" 

His name seemed odd coming from someone he hadn't seen in over two years, but he nodded anyway. His fingers became more determined, rubbing harder with more fervor. Erwin's legs tensed, eyes squeezing shut, a sigh falling from his lips. 

"Is everything alright, dear?" His mother asked.

"Yes, everything is wonderful," Erwin said with surprising composure. Levi's hand brushed over his growing need, drawing a small noise from the back of his throat. 

"So what have you two been up to?" The man at the head of the table asked. "Where are you staying nowadays?" 

"We're renting a flat near the city. We're planning on buying after the wedding, but we're waiting until then." Levi answered, sipping on the water. "I've been working as a journalist, Erwin is getting his degree in veterinary sciences and radiology."

"Together you'll make a lot of money," the man, whose name had been discovered as Rick, said. "I have a friend who makes close to two hundred thousand dollars a year," he stared down at his plate thoughtfully, like he was contemplating the arrangement of his breadcrumbs. "But money isn't everything," he said. "What's important is that the two of you are happy together."  _Maybe Rick wasn't such a bad guy after all,_ Levi thought. His fingers halted in their movements and Erwin sighed thankfully, assuming for the second time Levi was done with him. Wrong again. 

Dessert was brought out, a passion fruit souffle in some type of creme sauce that Levi was too full and Erwin was too preoccupied to eat much of. Between the setting sun and Levi's much too tender fingertips, Erwin's resolve crumbled pretty fast and as soon as the dinner plates were whisked away, Erwin stood, taking Levi out with him as fast as he could while still being unbearably polite. 

"You are unbelievable," Erwin growled in his ear. "You know how hard you are to resist."

Levi pulled his most innocent expression, insisting he had no idea what he meant. 

"Well then I'll just have to show you." 

The drive home was a quick, lust-filled haze, Erwin driving twenty over the speed limit, arriving in their driveway ten minutes early. As soon as they were inside, clothes fell to the floor, scattering in all directions. They left a trail to the bedroom, too far gone to truly care about the mess. Levi was dropped onto their bed on his stomach, Erwin leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses down his shoulder blade, the place he knew was most sensitive. Levi let out little whimpers, squirming against his chest. 

"Erwin," he breathed through his parted fingers, "Please..." 


	3. Anatomy Tutoring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren x Armin

Armin was over at Eren's house for the fourth time that week, doing homework. They were on the couch in the living room, home alone while the rest of the family went to Mikasa's swim competition in another town for the weekend. He stared down at his textbook page, searching desperately for the answer to the seemingly simple question. But it wasn't so simple. It was Anatomy 101, not rocket science, but the class was hard enough to give any college professor a headache. The material was hard and the teacher was so abraisive you could never ask any questions without feeling yourself you knew the answer but just couldn't remember it. It was enfuriating; especially if you had never struggled with any subject before until now. He glanced over at Eren, who was circling - the right answers - with ease. He seemed to be able to get it with little effort and Armin was tempted to be jealous, but instead he asked for help.

"Hey, Eren?"

"Yeah?" He replied, not even bothering to look up from the page.

"C-could you help me with this? I just don't understand."

"What?" Eren asked, finally looking up, a half-smile gracing his lips like he wanted to tease him about it, but thought better of it.

"You heard me," Armin said, an embarrassed blush rising in his cheeks. "I need help."

"Alright," Eren said, moving his papers and textbook to the floor, settling between Armin's legs. "Okay to this is the fibula," he said, poking the right side of Armin's outstretched calf. "This is the tibia," he said, resting his palm on his knee cap. He slowly crawled between his legs with every new 'vocab term'. "This-" he said, voice unconsciouly getting lower, "-is the femur," he said, running his hand slowly up his thigh, Armin's face growing redder by the second. "Left femoral artery," he said, rubbing his hand against his hip, pressing ever closer. "Pelvic bones...right kidney-" he ran his hand up under his shirt, pressing a kiss to the general area of the right kidney. Armin shivered, covering his mouth as Eren kept moving upward. "-pancreas...liver..." He said, kissing each separate locations. "Diaphragm," he kissed up his chest, the valley between each side of his ribcage. "Heart," he said, pressing a slow, open-mouthed kiss right in the middle of his chest. He whimpered oh-so-softly through his fingers, letting Eren straighten out the soft fabric of his baby blue sweater, pulling it to expose his left shoulder. "Left collarbone," he said, pressing the same type of kisses across the raised bone, all the way up to his shoulder, earning small noises drawn from deep in his chest. "Left clavicle," he muttered, switching over to his neck. "Left common carotio artery," he said, smiling at the high-pitched whine Armin made at the contact. "Lymph nodes," he said, licking a stripe from the base of his neck to the sharp outcropping of his jaw. "Pharynx," he whispered, removing Armin's hand, kissing his lips. He instantly arched into the kiss, the noise he made when he pulled away did wonders for Eren's ego, but he kept moving, kissing each side of his face with the utterance of 'the facial nerves'. "The brain," he said, kissing his forehead. He ran his thumb under the waistband of his underwear, testing Armin's resistance. He nodded a compliance and Eren pulled them down, bunching both his pajama pants and boxers around his knees, before pushing them off and onto the floor.

He pulled his legs apart, placing them on each on his shoulders, sucking a finger into his mouth, (there was no lube, I mean he's a teenage boy where is he going to find his own bottle let's get real none of our parents would let us have it) pulling it out to check for sufficient coverage. Armin's body tensed with anticipation, squeezing his eyes shut. 

His fingertip pressed against the tight ring of muscle, and thankfully, he didn't name everything he was touching. He finally eased his finger in, waiting for a sign he could start moving. His face twisted with the slight pain from the stretch, the whimpers falling from his lips slowly turning into anticipatory begs.

"Please," he breathed, rolling his hips in spite of himself. Eren curled his finger, clearly enjoying the way Armin squirmed and pulled out, adding another finger. Eren watched Armin's face change from almost-bliss to panic. He kissed the inside of his thigh, whispering praises and sweet-nothings to ease his way. He slowly started to enjoy it, the begs coming back. He wriggled his fingers, scissoring him open. Armin cried out, biting his hand hard enough to draw blood. 

"You can be loud," Eren said, wrapping his hand around the base of Armin's length, slowly pumping in time with the curls of his hand. "It's just us." Armin just nodded, the added stimulation nearly pushing him off the edge. But then Eren's hand did something he wasn't anticipating, curling sharply upward, hitting a spot deep inside that made stars dance along his vision. He cried out, arching his back and letting every swear he knew out in a string of uncontrolled arousal. Eren just smirked, leaning forward and whispering something in his ear.

"Prostate," he said, curing his fingers again, earning the same reaction, but more powerful. He came with a shout, curling tightly against Eren, digging his fingernails into his bare shoulders, shuddering as he rode out his climax. Eren got up and went to the kitchen next to the living room to wash his hands and get a wet towel to clean him up. 

"Hey Eren?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I'll ace this test," he said, yawning and letting Eren kiss his temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well there goes my smut-writing virginity


	4. University

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin stalks someone unintentionally and Levi is a dancer

Friday evening was the first time Erwin saw him. It was the first week of the new year and Erwin had finally buckled down and settled on his major, economics and business, and his roommate, Mike, was about to leave for a night out on the town.

"I'm going to go out for coffee with Hange, want to come?" He asked, peeking his head back through the door as if he'd forgotten something.

"Um...no thanks, I have homework." He said, holding up the not-so-small stack of papers from his classes that had all been heavy-handed with the stuff. Anyway, so Mike left and Erwin was left to his studies. About an hour had passed of being stuck at a table facing the only window in the room with homework he'd rather wait to do. So he took off his reading glasses and rubbed his face, the lamplight only somewhat comforting. The sun was setting and kids were gathering in the courtyard below for the nightly routines of those with active social lives. His eyes wandered over the brick wall opposite his and let them settle on a window to a room much different than his own. For starters, everything was neat, almost perfectly aligned with everything else. A wooden beam wrapped around the expanse of the uncovered wall, a floor length mirror securely stuck to the wall opposite. There was also a boy, well, man there, one hand on the barre, the other stretched up at an angle. He tipped forward just slightly, his back leg snapping out behind him higher than a ninety degree angle that would make most men cry from the stretch. But from the way a blush covered his cheeks, lips turned upward just slightly, he seeemed to be enjoying himself.

Erwin couldn't seem to pry his eyes away from him, something about his lean, almost fairy-like figure and black hair in an undercut, his steely-grey eyes just sort of screamed the word _alluring_. And then he was doing pirouettes, one after the other right in the middle of the room. It made his head spin just thinking about going around that fast, so many times. But again, the man across the hall defied expectations and kept going, stopping in an elegant swoop of dainty limbs normally associated with the Russian ballet.

Suddenly, Mike exploded through the doors, a rosy blush covering the majority of his face. He was dramatically singing "God Save the Queen" in a drunken slur of syllables barely recognizable. Hange was holding him up with a broad smile, giggling as she shoved him to the bottom bunk.

"Thanks, Hange. He doesn't hold his liquor well," Erwin said, tucking in an already passed out Mike (he was so tall his feet hung off the edge of the bed).

"No problem! I live just across the courtyard so it wasn't that far of a trek," she said happily, punching his arm playfully.

"Oh really? Which dorm is yours?" Erwin asked, following Hange's bouncy steps over to the window. She was majoring in some super complicated chemistry-bio engineering stuff. "It's that one," she said, pointing to the open window Erwin had been staring longingly into for a while. "The one with the short guy and the black hair, the one who's waving now- HI LEVI!" She yelled, even though there were two walls and a courtyard to get through, like he could hear her. Even so, Levi, mouthed back a hello and drew in the curtains.

"What does he major in?" Erwin asked casually, absentmindedly straightening papers on his cluttered desk.

"As of now it's exotic and avian veterinary sciences," she rattled off, waving her hands in a sarcastic motion of someone annoying talking. "He talks about it all the time. He's minoring in ballet, which is great for him...it really relaxes him like nothing else." Another question dangled in Erwin's mind, but he didn't ask it, deciding to keep fidgeting with items he didn't truly care for. "And yes-" Hange said quietly, (she'd always had a knack for reading people, it was alarming how accurate she was) "-he's into guys," she finished, smiling. "Also, you didn't hear this from me, he just got out of a pretty bad breakup. He was being cheated on for about a month before he found out. He's been a little...I don't know...off since. So I'd give him time." Erwin nodded, still processing the fact that she'd known about his underlying questions.

Unfortunately, Erwin spent the whole night perfecting his idea of what Levi could be. He imagined that he'd be shy, wearing a sweater and a scarf from the early winter Pennsylvania chill, his hair mussed from the wind, cheeks rosy. He'd work his sweater over his hands and speak quietly and be all around adorable. He'd come to the conclusion that Levi was someone who needed protecting, saving from this awful world we live in.

The next morning, Erwin got up at six, like usual and put on some shorts under his grey tee shirt. He went for a run this time every day, out around the campus and come back before seven, go in for a shower, finish up some last minute studying and go to class for the day. Just when Erwin was rounding the corner of his dorm building, he wasn't paying attention and slammed right into someone much smaller than himself. It was Levi, who landed on their butt in the wet grass with a low oomph Erwin bent down, offering him a breathless hand. Levi looked up angrily through his lashes, scrambling up on his own.

"Don't you ever look where you're going?" He said, straightening the purple scarf around his neck. Well that was unexpected.

"Um...y-yes I do look...normally..." Levi made a noise that was a cross between a hiss and a snort, narrowing his silvery-grey eyes up at him. "You big-ass tree people need to look down once in a while, there are short people here too, like we do exist."

"I'm sorry," Erwin said. "Where are you going so early?" He asked, taking Levi's heavy black bag from him and slinging it over his shoulder, walking slowly with him to his next destination. "I don't remember telling you I needed help," Levi said but didn't protest to his carrying of the bag.

"You're welcome," Erwin said, polite as ever.

"I'm going to an early morning ballet class," he said, watching the bag on his shoulder nervously, like Erwin was holding his newborn baby and he was terrified of him dropping it. "It's the advanced course you have to pay for, from an elite school in New York, but it's worth the arm and leg you have to hand over for it."

"You're Levi, right? Hange introduced you last night-"

"Yeah that's me. You're Erwin, correct? Hange told me all about you," he smiled deviously. "Like the time when you got drunk and ate a run-over waffle for fifty cents," he said, the smirk never leaving his face. He acted like it was hilarious, but in reality, Erwin got the flu for a month afterward and having to explain that to your doctor was interesting to say the least. 

"Okay that was one time and, like you said, I was drunk off my ass," he laughed, throwing his head back. When they reached the studio doors, Erwin held it for him, only following in at Levi's request. 

"You really don't disappoint, do you?" He asked skeptically, raising a neatly trimmed brow at him. 

"I try not to," he answered, handing him the bag Levi wanted to protect at all costs and turned to leave. 

"Wait, Erwin...when-" he cleared his throat, staring angrily Erwin's shoes. "When can I see you again?" he asked, almost ashamedly.

"Text me where you are during the free period we have for lunch and we'll go out together, sound good?"

"Fine," he said stiffly, turning abruptly and entering one of the classrooms on the end of the hall.


	5. Grown-Up Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin x Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda Victorian era AU, Levi is a prince and Erwin's father is a noble.

For as long as anyone in Trost could remember, Levi and Erwin had always been attached at the hip, never really starting too far from one another. They even took their cross and dressage classes together (Levi had always been the best, his jumping and riding abilities far better than those of his peers, being graduated to the advanced courses at the tender age of fourteen). Erwin never really imagined being with anyone else besides Levi; he could never fully imagine running through the town square with any other, riding through the woods at midnight with another soul, or even sharing his first kiss with someone else's lips. They were inseparable, until, that is, the eve of Levi's twenty-first birthday. It was custom for the boys to marry exactly a week after his twenty-first birthday. And it was no different for Levi. He was to marry an Wallist girl for peace-keeping between the two parties.

It was sudden, and Levi threw a tantrum, storming out in a swirl of angry tears and stiffened limbs. Erwin followed him closely, hugging his shaking form. 

"We can go; we can get away." He rested his forehead against Levi's. "We can go anywhere, I'd go anywhere -  _anywhere_ \- for you."

"Where can we go where someone won't know who we are and what we're running from?" Levi countered. "I am so sorry Erwin, I should have known - I have been so incredibly stupid." He moaned,clutching at his short black hair. "I'm so sorry."

"About what? We both knew going into it-"

"No. That I was made to be the sacrifice. That I was to be the one to take the misery of the whole family. I was never meant to be happy."

"Don't talk like that, Levi. You know that's not true-"

"But it is! Listen. The one thing in this weary world I wanted to keep was you. And now they're taking that one thing away from me. Don't you see?" Levi was shaking at this point, from shoulders to toes and his freezing hands were balled into fists. Erwin could only hold him. 

 

The morning of the wedding neared, like a guillotine looming over their necks, just waiting to drop and kill them. They spent the last week together, and they grew closer than they had ever been. Which made everything else harder. 

Levi stood at the alter on the morning of that fateful day, eyes empty and voice low. The priest said what they were to repeat and he said the words that would kill him. 

"Levi, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" 

The room was silent, the word  _no_ right on his lips; he found Erwin in the rows and rows of people dressed in white and locked eyes with him. A single tear ran down his cheek. The poor girl would never know that the tears he she'd were not for the hope and promise of a new life, but for the one he was leaving behind.  _  
_

"I do."

The words sounded like explosions in his ears, resounding around the silent church hall. This was his burden. This was his sacrifice. And he knew it would kill him. 

He insisted that the honeymoon be short, so he and she spent the weekend in a cottage by the river. He tried so hard to come to love her. He truly did; but when she kissed him he tasted Erwin in her lips, heard his voice when she gasped his name. He was driving himself mad with grief, missing him and longing - heavens, he was longing. 

They returned to their palace, the weeks going by in a slow amble of treaties, trade deals, and fierce despair. The longer he waited to see Erwin, the more he felt himself shattering under the weight of marriage. 

Monday night Levi sent a summons for him, unable to keep going. As soon as Erwin entered his office, he threw his arms around him and kissed him; over and over again, crying all the while. They spent hours together talking like they used to and when Erwin had to go, Levi felt just as empty as before. But with the promise of another meeting the following day, he felt a renewed strength to keep going. 

This went on for months, Levi would stay in his office, or the two of them in a guest room. But in the end, it was always Levi falling asleep in a stranger's bed. 

They were only caught once, but it was by his wife's older brother, Will. He was furious, and made Levi promise not to see Erwin any more. But he didn't acknowledge the promise, Will was only there for a week, how badly could one broken promise turn out?

One night, Levi was dealing with a particularly difficult peace-keeping oath he had to sign and give to the Wallists later on. Something his his window. He ignored it, repositioning himself on his chair, knees to chest. It happened again. And again. So he finally got up and threw open his windows and-

"But soft! Light through yonder window breaks," Erwin recited, a goofy grin on his face. 

"Erwin you moron it is late, we could get caught," he replied, resting his face on his palm and leaning against the window sill, still blushing. 

"Come down and meet me, don't leave me alone down here. It's freezing, he laughed. "I don't know how your mother keeps this fountain going without freezing." He gestured to the grand fountain behind him. He was in the center of Levi's mother's prized flower garden. She loved it more than she loved him. Rows and rows of different rose bushes, lavender plants, ivory magnolia blossoms she planted after the loss of her only daughter, Isabel. 

And Levi went. He would always come to him,in a hundred different lifetimes, they would always find one another. He hugged him, kissing the corner of his mouth. 

"Erwin-"

"Levi Ackerman!" A voice bellowed from behind him. Will. He turned, only to be met with the barrel of a gun pointed at Erwin's chest. "You promised, you  _promised_ you would never see him again. How could you do this to my sister? How  _could_ you?"

"Will, just calm down," Levi said, opening his palms up to show he wasn't going to do anything. "You don't understand-"

"Don't understand?" He laughed. "No. I think  _you_ don't understand. The very principle of what you are is sin. And you are willing to break my sister with it. She loves you!"

And then three shots rang out. 

They made their home in Erwin's vhest, burying deep into the flesh. Levi held him up for as long as he could, crying at the blood running from the corner - the one he had just been kissing - of his mouth. 

"Erwin, Erwin don't you dare - Stay with me, please...just focus on my voice. Look at me - look at me Erwin don't you dare close your eyes." He stuttered, cradling his head in his lap. 

"Levi," he said, holding his hand tightly. "Listen. I don't have much time. Just know, know that I loved you just as much. And out of everyone in this world, I'm glad you were the one I spent my life with." His eyes unfocused and his breathing became ragged. 

"Erwin please, please don't leave me. I - I can't live without you please-" and then he was gone. 

Levi sobbed desperately into his hand, calling for him. His blood ran into the basin of the fountain, tainting the water. 

His body was eventually taken, Levi kicking and screaming all the while. 

"Please don't take him - no not again. Please, God no, not again." He fell into his younger brother's arms, crying helplessly for hours into the night. Furlan stayed with him, comforting him as best he could. But it wasn't enough. 

He went to an apothecary, searching for something strong enough to finally put him out of his agony. So he found a vial of ricin, a poison found in Rosary Peas. He took it with him in the inside pocket of his jacket to Erwin's funeral. 

He stared blankly ahead, ignoring all condolences and expressions of grief. And he was the last one there. All others had gone, and it was just him, standing at the foot of the fresh grave. 

"I never thought that I would ever feel so low as I do now. I am in  _pain_ Erwin. Please understand why I have to do this."

He uncorked the vial, tipping the contents into his mouth. He swallowed, falling to his knees. He lay upon the grave as the poison took control, causing convulsions and aches not unlike the one in his head and heart. 

When they found him that evening, people thought that he was crazy for following his dear friend into the void, but only few truly knew why he couldn't keep going. 

Levi was laid to rest across the cemetery in his family's section, and when his wife died, she was buried next to her husband. 

It was a cruel irony that the one Levi died for was the one he killed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry...
> 
> I AM ALSO POSTING FROM MOBILE SO IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES JUST COMMENT THEM


	6. ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hocky Player Erwin and Figure Skater Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erwin x Levi

Erwin's father turned right before getting in a car with the rest of his team's dads, and tossed him the keys to the rink. 

"Lock up tonight, would you? I'll see you at home!"

He caught them with ease, nodding to tell him he would. He disappeared inside the glass doors to his second home. 

 

It was the tail end of the free skate for the figure skaters to practice. The music was loud and pumping, the heavy breast something for them to rely on. Erwin unconsciously scanned the ice for a certain boy he'd grown quite find of over the past few years, whether it was due to the close proximity our the similarity in interests, Erwin would never know. He searched for the telltale black skates that were in impeccable shape for being a few years old (they had been sharpened so many times he had to get new blades). He found them attached to a short, leanly muscular boy with short black hair in a new undercut. Was it like that yesterday? Probably not. He'd heard Levi complaining to a fellow skater named Farlan about how much he hated how much hair he had. Anyway, it looked incredible and he found himself staring. Mike ran into him, pitching Erwin forward before laughing.

"Better close your mouth before you catch flies," he said with a smirk, rushing off with some of the younger kids on the team to play a game of soccer before practice (it was, in fact, an ice and sportsplex, they could do both, all indoors). Erwin meandered over to the benches by the snack bar on the other side of the building. A younger girl with short red hair was working it today and Erwin vaguely recognized her as one of Levi's friends (Petra, maybe?). 

She was organizing pretzels in a display case when Erwin approached her. She looked startled by his presence, nearly dropping one of the snacks.

"Could I get one of the water bottles Mike keeps in the mini-fridge back there?" He asked politely. She handed one over the counter with a smile.

Erwin sat on one of the backless wooden benches, exchanging his sneakers for hockey skates. He felt his eyes wandering again, catching on Levi mid-haircutter spin, an arm behind his head to grip the blade and pull it to his scalp. Honestly, he made it look effortless, even the quadruple axel he did almost every practice (it was the source of most of the gossip at the rink, because he was the only skater there that could completely land it). His coach almost always looked ready to burst from pride every time he did it. 

A couple girls in matching LuLu headbands were staring, not unlike Erwin himself. 

"Did you see that quad? It is so unfair!" The blonde one said.

"He can not be that attractive and that talented. He must have some sort of hamartia...like being gay or a Satan worshipper." Her brunette companion added.

"Maybe that's how he got so hot, made from hellfire..." they stood and giggled to each other different brought hypotheses about Levi and his near perfect image. Jealousy blossomed in his chest, but he quickly stamped out the all-consuming flames. Quickly the free skate ended and Levi crossed over in front of Erwin, going over to Petra's snack bar. His heart hammered, their eyes living for a few brief seconds. He leaned against it,a hip hitting out suggestively. 

Erwin found himself shuffled out on the fresh ice the zamboni paved for the team. 

 

Levi put his face in his hands and groaned. 

"He's just so hot..." He cried pitifully, looking up at Petra with sad, open puppy eyes. And she almost felt sorry for him.

"Well just go talk to him-"

"I don't think you know how much I can't do that." He retaliated.

"Then just tell me what you like about him." She said, offering him a rag and a spray bottle of disinfectant, knowing how much it calmed him down. He took out with a scowl, scrubbing down the edge of the counter. 

"I...he's really sweet? I dropped my guards one day and he picked them up for me. I like the way his hair like...sticks up when he pulls his helmet off. Damn, there it is." He groaned again, worrying his lip between his teeth. "God, he looks like Captain America," he whined. "I fighting think he even knows I exist."

"Levi. You are the only skater here that can land a quad. I highly doubt he doesn't know who you are."

"Petra, you're not helping. Now he must think I'm a stuck up white boy snob-"

"He doesn't think that about you-"

"How do you know?" His voice was high pitched and had grown somewhat annoying in his desperate attempt to convince Petra of his helplessness.

"He stares at you while you skate. He almost looks hypnotized." She said, the blush rising up his cheeks an indication of his slight crush on the team captain. 

"You're just saying that," he said, voice finally lowering back into his original octave. 

"I'm not ' _just saying_ ' that. I mean it. Every time he's watching you, it's like he can't take his eyes off you. It's adorable." She finished, taking the cleaner and cloth from his pale fingers. He rubbed them against the countertop, watching Erwin score a goal on Mike, who was playing goalie.

"God..." He breathed through his teeth. He watched the muscles in his shoulders tense and roll through various complex manoeuvres. His hands gripped the wooden stick loosely, twirling through packs of thickly muscled men and a terrifying girl named Annie. She fought her way up the ranks and earned her spot on the team. 

If there was a zombie apocalypse, Annie would be his first choice. She got the puck and threw her weight into Reiner, tossing him away like it was nothing. Levi shuddered, watching the team move together in near-perfect synch. It was incredible, the only thing figure skating had like that was twizzles in ice dancing and the pair jumps. In a weird way Levi envied that, but was pretty sure Annie would probably kill him with her bare hands. So he valued his individuality. The coach, sometime later called the end of practice, so to keep from being trampled, Levi hopped on the countertop and folded his legs under him. He was waiting for the team to get their showers so he could get back on the ice. The team meandered away in a chaotic roar that rivalled that of a stampeding rhinoceros herd.

Levi said a parting pleasantry and glided back onto fresh ice. There was no way in hell he'd skate on ice the hockey team screwed over, so he had waited for the all clear from Mr. Zamboni Man and decided to go back through his program. It was deceptively difficult, the hardest run he'd ever had; starting with backward crossovers into a death drop-sit spin twist variation, then there was a series of complex moves for footwork brownie points with his coach, then a double salchow-triple toe-double flip combo, a lay back spin and a quad at the end. It was set to this classical music, it was the program he had to run for Nationals, then see if the Olympic team would take him after Worlds. 

No pressure, right?

He didn't really have any major problems, so he was having more fun than anything. So he practiced his jumps, making sure he was perfectly rotated, even in the ones not seen in his program. He was sweaty and gross and decided that since the locker room was probably empty, he should hit the showers. 

 

Erwin was locking up the back rooms and the sportsplex, making sure everything was cleaned up and ready for the next day. He came back to his bag, setting his equipment down and getting his shower bag. The team had left for pizza, only after Erwin promised to meet up with them after he finished up. 

He entered the room and didn't completely register who could be using the showers at the same time.the sound of tying ing water splayed him to another soul with him. He dropped his bag, mouth falling open. It was Levi.

 

"Like what you see?"


End file.
